Is it Okay to Expect Something From People? By Ebuka Onyekwelu

Lately, I have been thinking about the propriety to advance such narrative that people should not expect anything from others. In summary, we should not expect our relatives, wives, kids, friends, superiors, elders, etc, to assume certain roles in our lives. To offer certain help ir assistance. That is not correct. Is it even possible not to expect people who are stakeholders in one’s life, to be mere bystanders?
The narrative that people should expect nothing from others, as a prerequsite to happiness as against dashed hope, is flat wrong and deceitful. For if I am your friend, or better, we are friends, we both are bound to have some expectations of each other in terms of personal contribution or addition to each other and it is all part of the bargain. Why must one now pretend as if such expectation is out of place or irrational? It is not part of the demands of friendship commitment? This is very distinct from assuming that a random person owe someone, the duty or ought to behave in a particular special way towards someone who is unknown to him or her. Although this does not negate the measured expected attitude of rational humanbeings towards fellow humanbeings. 

I understand that alot of Nigerians have this sense of entitlement. They feel, no, they behave in a way to suggest that you owe them, even when you don’t. They allocate to themselves the rights and priviledges of knowing someone, especially successful people, without even the faintest knowledge of the person’s reality. We should all be able to do good to others without expecting anything back. We should all be able to go about living our lives without making our hope of a good life, the absolute responsibility of another man. Nobody will be happy to carry another’s burden for long, especially when one is healthy and ought to be able to fend for oneself, no matter the quantum of love involved. Now this is basic and forms some rudimental basis for smooth human relationship.

However, the truth is that we should have expectation from the people who are close to us. And they should have expectations from us as well. There is something one can do for a wealthy relative, friend, superior, etc and there is something s/he can also do for the other. Each man’s expectation of the other should be based on their prowess or ability. No man should live off the other, adding nothing to him or her but full of expectations.

Don’t mislead yourself believing we should not expect anything from people, especially friends, relatives and those close to us. We all owe each other certain level of responsibility within our ability. Go ahead and be expectant but also see how you can add to them.